So Sue Me!

By Jonathan Wyner

June 27, 2001

Let me say right up front….I know I’ll likely be flamed for what follows…so be it. Bring it on! I invite contrasting point of view from responsible spokespeople! I invite anyone else to describe the unforgettable joy and uplifting sense of euphoria they experienced while joined in the battle. I confess to having admiration and respect for anyone who excels or enjoys the event I am about to describe. It might be the case that I am the only person who feels the way I do.

Mt. Washington. This has to be the most ignominious race I ever ran. I am truly glad I did it…once….and never again. I have run marathons….I love ‘em. I have run hilly races (see the Cape Ann 25k)….loved it. I like hiking. I like nature. I like mountains… I have done things that have required a determined effort for a prolonged period and reveled in the process.

The Mt. Washington Road Race…hmmm let’s see. 7.65 miles. Doesn’t sound too long…I mean it’s not even a third of a marathon…but this ain’t just ANY 7.65 miles. This is a ‘race’ going up the road to the highest point in New England…. climbing the mountain, it is impossible to generate anything much faster than a walk, in fact I DID walk for a decent portion of the race. The primary challenge of this event seemed to be not to run fast, not to run an even pace, not to pass anyone, not to raise money for a good cause, no the challenge of this race seems to be to keep breathing! I couldn’t move my legs fast, couldn’t open up my stride, couldn’t even bear to look up! For the first three miles, each time I saw the ‘horizon’ or top of the hill in the road, I would simply find….another hill….actually a continuation of the SAME hill. What a way to demoralize someone….gives me a good idea of how to effectively break someone’s spirit. I suppose I could have taken comfort in the mass of human suffering that surrounded me, but I was suffering too much to notice. The best part of the race….was when it was over. Finally I could move my legs! But wait….now I have to sit in a car and deal with the steep road going the other way (down) traveling at what seemed to be an even slower pace than while running up, nauseous from inhaling the acrid air, full of fumes from burning brakes and wondering if I was going to live to complain another day or if I was about to witness the most spectacular automotive conflagration ever…..from the inside. Yippee.

How many different kinds of suffering can we fit into one day? Wake up at 4:45…in the car at 5:30, drive 3 hours, stand around for another hour, ‘run’ for 90 minutes, ‘drive’(more like pray-and-coast-with-restraint) down the mountain, get to the post race celebration where it’s 90+ degrees and eat hot vegetable soup (sorry, no broccoli today!), get back in the car and drive another 3 hours home.

SO let’s see, what DID I learn.

1. To run slowly
2. That many kinds of biting bugs can live at altitude
3. People do the strangest things

In case I didn’t make myself clear in the beginning, I am not saying I am right, or that it was a waste of time. This isn’t about right or wrong. Please, if anyone wants to explain to me exactly what I missed I am all ears.

PS….strangely enough I did tell my girlfriend that she might want to run it next year….and I really like her! See you next year. I’ll be watching.

posted by admin in Stories on June 27, 2001

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